Belly Button

When I was in college, I had my belly button pierced. Then, I had a few surgeries, normal stuff, appendix and gallbladder, and they had to take it out. Since my tummy was scarred in several places, I got it pierced again. Hey, I was young and wore a bikini.

Fast forward to my first pregnancy. I had a maternity ring that I wore sometimes but used mainly to check the hole from time to time to see if it was still open. It didn't close, and I was able to put back in my barbell after I had Button.

This time around, I keep checking it, but also wonder why. Why am I checking this? What is the point of it? Sure, I have a great solid gold barbell I had made on a trip to Cairo, but really, will I ever going to show my tummy again? I have scars from surgery. I have stretch marks. And let's be honest, I have plenty of flub. I never was a tiny person (ok, there was that one summer when I worked at the SCUBA diving camp, but that was about it) and even though I work at it.

So why? Am I chasing my youth? Do I just like it that much? Do I wonder what it will look like after this baby?

I mean, no one really ever sees it anyway. But I keep making sure the hole does not close so I can put the pretty gold ring back in.

I am starting to wonder if I am "chasing youth" a little bit. I never thought of myself past the age of about 24 even though I am about 31. Not old by any means, but no longer a carefree twenty something who has no responsibilities. I work full time. I'm married. I am raising a kid (soon to be kids!).

So why? I am just wondering. I think part of it is fear that if I let that go, what will be left there on my now really ugly tummy, scars and stretch marks, but no pretty gold ring to distract from it all. But who sees it anyway??

That is my Monday Morning Thought. Have a great day!