Stella and Dot

I know I am crazy, but I am thinking about starting as a Stella and Dot consultant. I need something different and I think this will allow me to stay home with Button more. I am going talk to Hubby about it this week and see what he thinks. If I can find a way to cover the bills I pay now and stay home, it would be fantastic.

Part of the reason I am considering this is because I have been sick the past week or so, with stress from work I think. I literally went home early one day last week and did not eat for most of the week because I was so worked up. I need to make a change and I need to make one sooner than later. I want Little Nut to know who her Mama is and I want to be home with her.

I think this might be a way to do it. We will see!

What I SHOULD Be Doing

Its Saturday and we are going to run errands once Button wakes up from her nap. At daycare she sleeps about an hour a day, but on weekends at home, she still takes a morning and an afternoon nap, both of which are well over an hour. It makes her much happier on weekends. At daycare she thinks she should be playing or might miss something.

So I should be doing homework. Or laundry. Or something productive. Instead, I am watching TV and relaxing. I know, I should be reading what I need to for my reflection paper that is due tomorrow, or picking up the house, or peeling the caulk from the shower so I can re-caulk it again.

But I am watching reruns of How I Met Your Mother instead.

Button is so cute when she sleeps. And when she wakes up she will need some milk, snuggle time and probably a gram cracker or lunch depending on what time it is. Then we will head out for some errands, and get back in time for her afternoon nap.

I did win the lottery last night, but it was only $1 that I will re-invest in my future - meaning I am going to buy another ticket with it. I keep hoping that one day I will win and I can quit my job, start my cloth diaper service (Bottoms Up), stay home with Little Nut and pop out a few more kids. I would love to have a big family - 3 or 4 kids. I am just more practical than that and know how expensive it is.

Little Nut is growing so fast. She loves to play outside (which is what we really might do this afternoon - it is beautiful out) and is walking everywhere. She is so curious and loves to explore. It is crazy to watch her - she just loves life. I hate missing so much of it every day for work.

There are times I wish I had done a few things differently and could just quit my job to stay home with her. I don't want to miss those moments in life - watching her grow up. I want to be the mom who volunteers in the classroom and goes on field trips. The mom who is the Girl Scout Leader and volunteers at church.

I can't predict the future, but we are making plans. Looking to expand our family when the time is right. It will happen, and I have faith that everything will work out.

Teething

Someone once told me that once Belle started sleeping through the night, it would continue. That person LIED. Teething keeps sleeping through the night a guessing game. There are many, many nights that she sleeps through and I know I am lucky. But she lulls me into thinking that we are past a bad patch, or that this sleeping this now back on track, and those pesky teeth start to poke through.

Those teeth make life a living hell for a few weeks at a time. We are lucky though, she gets two every six months or so (that's right, she has all of 6 teeth now at the age of 13 months). At this rate she will be 10 before she gets a full set.

So now she is sleeping again, at least for a while. I am keeping my fingers crossed that she will sleep past 4am, but who knows. I might get to have a nice morning walk tomorrow. I think the weather here in Wisconsin should be mild enough for that.

Bellie Button

I love little Bellie Button. She is the light of my life. I love her big smile and how she runs towards me when I get to pick her up from daycare. Her smile in the morning when she sees me coming down the hall to her room - she stands at the end of her crib, leaning out to see me.

This morning was fun. We got more snow (but really, this winter has been mild) and she was walking around in the driveway in the snow and loving it. Then she fell into a pile and just sat there, cute as can be.

I love how much she loves to see new things and how much she loves to play. She is getting into the stage where she loves to hug and cuddle too. It is so much fun to see the world in her eyes.

Cloth Diapering

So I use cloth diapers. I have no grand illusions that I am using them to save the planet - it comes down to the fact that I am cheap and won't pay for something that is going to get pooped and peed on, then thrown away. And since babies tend do do that several times a day, I was not going to throw that money away.

I like that I am also helping the environment (I mean, 500 years to decompose per diaper?? That is just Crazy!!), but that was not my main deal.

It is addictive though. You get covers and diapers and then you find ways to wash them better and it is fun. There, I said it. I like to use the diapers and find it FUN!

Well, here is the issue. I would LOVE to start a cloth diaper service. There really are not many in the area. I just have no idea how I would do it, let alone get the capital to start it. But I think it would be great. I could stay home with Little Nut, and we could do laundry all day and play. We would ride to pick up and drop off two or three days per week. It would be great.

But I would need more diapers. And pails. And liners. And an industrial washer and dryer. And probably a bigger vehicle. Oh, and I would need people who would be willing to pay me for this in the Fox Valley area.

Yup, I'm crazy. But since I am completing my MBA maybe I will write the business plan. Who knows, maybe when we have #2 I will put my plan into action!

I want another Baby

There. I said it. Even though if I got preggers tomorrow I would have two under two - but it would only be for about two months. I want to expand our family and give Button a little brother or sister. I think it would be wonderful.

Sure, money would be tight the first few years, but how fun would it be??

Now, we would need a new house (we only have a 2 bedroom now) or a remodel, but it could be done. Just have to get hubby on board.

Who's with me??

I want to be a SAHM

I am going to try this blog thing - I hope it will help me keep track of how my little girl grows up and how our family evolves over time.

I also want to be clear about something. As a little girl, I was told, Go to College, Get Your Degree, Get A Job, You Can Be Whatever You Want To Be.

The problem is that all I want to be is a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM). There, I've said it. I have one master's degree and am working on another. I have a full time job at an director level. I would leave it all behind tomorrow if I won the lottery (I buy a few tickets a week to keep this dream alive) so I could spend every day with the light of my life.

January 9, 2011 (after 30 hours of labor) I gave birth to the most wonderful little girl, Bellie Button. She is amazing. After 9 1/2 short weeks of maternity leave I went back to work. It has been almost a year since then, and all I can think about is staying home with her.

At first, I thought it would get better, but it has gotten to be even more of a desire of mine. I am looking for even part time work options (those pesky things like student loans and a car payment keep me gainfully employed) and I am not sure what else I would do.

So I am going to start a blog - to talk about my secret hopes and dreams and how I am going to go about getting there.