Let's Talk About Boobs

Breastfeeding. It is something I really wanted to do well with Belle, but it never worked the way it was supposed to. Maybe it was the 30 hour labor, near c-section, Pitocin and IV drugs,  vacuum extraction, and trauma of birth. She never latched well. She didn't latch for over 24 hours. I had to pump in the hospital and tube feed her. Then when she did latch, she would fall asleep easily. She didn't gain weight - it took about 6 weeks to get back to birth weight. I had to supplement. I was feeding and pumping every 3 hours around the clock.

I saw a LC on a regular basis - I'm not sure what I would have done without her. She supported my decisions, gave me all kinds of advice and helped me get a prescription for Domperidone from my OB when we had exhausted every other option. After 6 months I went to formula. I just never made enough milk no matter what.

Fast forward two years and to Shelby. She latched within minutes of birth. It was perfect. She gained weight right away and grew strong. I started pumping once a day to build a freezer stash. I FINALLY had it right.

That's what I thought until I went back to work.

Daycare has been a tough transition for both of us. I didn't want to go back to work but I had to. She now spends 10 hours a day away from me. It SUCKS. But that's life, right?

I digress.

Anyway, I have been sending about 9-12 ounces of milk to daycare with her. I am only pumping 7-10 a day, but they think she needs 5 ounces a feeding because she drinks the bottles so fast - that is, when she takes them. I think it is more that she isn't used to taking a bottle. Freezer stash is almost gone and I am still only pumping an average of 8 oz/day.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. She is now starting the wonderful world of reverse cycling! This means when Shelbs is away from me, she is eating as little as possible and nursing nonstop at home at night. But she is still sleeping pretty well, so who really knows.

I am considering renting a hospital grade pump to see if that will make any difference. I already have to Medela's (Freestyle and Pump in Style Advanced) and I am not a huge fan of either one of them. I want to get more. I am trying to get more.

But most of all, I love the connection with Shelbs. I hate that it makes Belle sad because we don't get as much fun time together. Let's be honest, when I work, our days are short. But I love that I know I am doing the best I can in order to give my baby breastmilk. If one day I decide it is no longer the right choice for us, well, then that's another story. I've been down the formula road before - and THRIVED.