I feel like a failure

So last night I caved in and gave the nuk back. Transitioning to the big girl bed has been very, very hard. She slept so well her first night, and was up once the second night. This weekend was terrible. She was up 3 or 4 times on Saturday. She was overtired, crabby and, in all honesty, so was I.

So last night we decided to see if giving back the nuk would work. She was so cute, "Mama found it!"

She was up at 4am.

I don't know what else to do. I am tired, and honestly, I just don't want to do this anymore. I want to sleep. All night long. For more than one night. Am I asking too much?

I am 18 weeks pregnant, work full time and run around like crazy after our 19 month old. I was so proud that she went almost a full week without the nuk. She didn't even ask for it after a day or two. And now I feel like I gave in by giving it back.

I know that since we took it away once, we can do it again. And giving it back, there are going to be many more limitations. Like you can only have it in your big girl bed. But still. I feel like I am going backwards.

I know it will get better, and that I will get sleep again. In about 5 years or so. But I am considering leaving Button home with Hubby and getting a hotel room all my own .... Glorious sleep!